Homeschooling Testimonials

Used with Permission

I can't believe I am writing an article about socialization, The word makes my skin crawl. As homeschoolers, we are often accosted by people who assume that since we're homeschooling, our kids won't be "socialized." The word has become such a catch phrase that it has entirely lost any meaning.

The first time I heard the word, I was attending a Catholic day school as a first grader.

Having been a "reader" for almost 2 years, I found the phonics and reading lessons to be incredibly boring. Luckily the girl behind me felt the same way, and when we were done with our silly little worksheets, we would chat back and forth. I've never known two 6 yr. olds who could maintain a quiet conversation, so naturally a ruler-carrying nun interrupted us with a few strong raps on our desk. We were both asked to stay in at recess, and sit quietly in our desks for the entire 25 minutes, because "We are not here to socialize, young ladies."

Those words were repeated over and over throughout my education, by just about every teacher I've ever had. If we're not there to socialize, then why were we there? I learned to read at home. If I finished my work early (which I always did,) could I have gone home? If I were already familiar with the subject matter, would I have been excused from class that day? If schools weren't made for socializing, then why on earth would anyone assume that homeschoolers were missing out?

As a society full of people whose childhood’s were spent waiting anxiously for recess time, and trying desperately to "socialize" with the kids in class; It is often difficult for people to have an image of a child whose social life is NOT based on school buddies. Do you ever remember sitting in class, and wanting desperately to speak to your friend? It's kind of hard to concentrate on the lessons when you're bouncing around trying not to talk. Have you ever had a teacher who rearranged the seats every now and then, to prevent talking, splitting up friends and "talking corners." Were you ever caught passing notes in class?

Now- flash forward to "real life." Imagine the following scenes:

Your Employer is auditing the Inter-Office Email system and comes across a personal note between you and a coworker. You are required to stand at the podium in the next sales meeting to read it aloud to your coworkers. The Police knock on your door, and announce that because you and your neighbor have gotten so close, they're separating you. You must move your home and your belongings to the other side of town, and you may only meet at public places on weekends.

You're sitting at a booth waiting for a coworker to arrive for a scheduled lunch date. Suddenly a member of upper management sits down across from you and demands your credit cards. When your friend arrives, you just order water and claim you're not hungry, since he stole your lunch money.

You're applying for a job and in an unconventional hiring practice, you are made to line up with other applicants, and wait patiently while representatives from two competing companies take their pick from the lineup.

You're taking your parents out for an anniversary dinner. After you find a table, a waiter tells you that seniors have a separate dining room, lest they "corrupt" the younger members of society.

You go to the grocery store only to find that since you are 32 years old you must shop at the store for 32 year olds. It's 8 miles away and they don't sell meat because the manager is a vegetarian, but your birthday is coming up and soon you'll be able to shop at the store for 33 yr. olds.

You'd like to learn about Aviation History. You go to the library and check out a book on the subject only to be given a list of "other subjects" that you must read about before you are permitted to check out the aviation book.

You're having a hard time finding what you need in the local department store. The saleslady explains that each item is arranged alphabetically in the store, so instead of having a section for shoes, you will find the men's shoes in between the maternity clothes and the mirrors.

Your Cable Company announces that anyone wishing to watch the Superbowl this year must log on a certain number of hours watching the Discovery Channel before they can be permitted to watch the game.

You apply for a job only to be told that this job is for 29 year olds. Since you're 32, you'll have to stay with your level.

In a group project, your boss decides to pair you up with the person you don't "click" with. His hope is that you'll get learn to get along with each other, regardless of how the project turns out.

These absurd examples were created to point out how absolutely ridiculous the idea of "socializing" in schools is. Many people had a friend who they stayed friends with all through grammar school- WHY? Because their names were alphabetically similar, and they always ended up in line with each other. As an adult, have you ever made friends with someone simply because your names were similar? How long would such a friendship last and how meaningful would it be, providing you had nothing else in common?

People often use the bully as an example of why it's so important to let kids "socialize" at school. If that's so important, then the bully needs to go to JAIL after a few months, because self-respecting society simply doesn't put up with that, nor should my 6 yr. old. Sure, there are crappy people in the world, but the world does a much better job of taking care of these things. A bullying brat in the first grade will still be a bullying brat in the 6th grade. He will still be picking on the same kids year after year after year, unless he moves to a new town. How long would the average adult put up with a bully? Personally, as an adult, I have only come across one grown up bully. I choose not to be around this miserable woman. So do many other people. THAT is real life. If she were a coworker, I would find a different job. If she worked at a business I patronized- not only would I refrain from doing business with that company, I would write a letter to the bully, her manager, the owner and the main office. A kid in a classroom has no way to emotionally protect themselves against such a person. I would never expect my kids to put up with bad treatment from a bully in the name of "toughening them up." For what? So they can be submissive wimps when they grow up too? So they can "ignore" their miserable bosses and abusive spouses? In real life, if an employer discovered that an employee was harassing the other staff members, that employee could be fired (pending the 90 day evaluation) or relocated. In real life, if you are so dreadfully harassed by a coworker you can seek legal recourse independently. In a classroom, the teacher and other children are often powerless.

The idea of learning acceptable social skills in a school is as absurd to me as learning nutrition from a grocery store.

As Homeschoolers, the world is our classroom. We interact with people of all ages, sexes and backgrounds. We talk to and learn from everyone who strikes our interest. We use good manners in our home and I'm always pleased when others comment on the manners my children have picked up. I believe good manners to be an important social skill.

Respecting common areas is also of value to us. We often carry a grocery bag with us on walks, in case we find trash that needs to be discarded. When we're waiting at a bus stop, if there is trash on the ground, we make a point to carry it onto the bus and discard of it properly. Once, while waiting at a bus stop- we saw a grown man drop his popsicle wrapper on the ground. He was 2 feet from a trash can- My daughter looked up at me with eyes as big as saucers. I told her (out loud) "It must have blown out of his hand from that little wind, because no-one would throw trash on the ground on purpose. I'm sure when he's done with his popsicle, he will pick it up and throw it away correctly- otherwise, we can take care of it so we don't have an ugly world." He did pick it up, rather sheepishly. I can't imagine expecting my children to have a respect for the cleanliness of common areas in an environment where bathroom walls are covered in graffiti and trees are scratched with symbols of "love" of all things.

Another social skill we strive to teach our children is that all people are created equal. I can't imagine doing that in an environment where physically disadvantaged children are segregated into a "special" classroom. Or even children who speak a different language at home. They are segregated and forced to learn English, while never acknowledging the unique culture they were raised in, and not enabling the other students to learn FROM them. Learning, in school, comes from the books and teachers. We will learn Spanish from a BOOK, not from a Spanish-speaking student; and not until 7th grade.

I have never felt it would be beneficial to stick my 6-yr. old in a room full of other 6-yr. olds. I believe God created a world full of people of all ages and sexes to insure that the younger ones and older ones learn from each other. A few years ago, we were living thousands of miles from any older family members, so I brought my kids (then 5 and 2) to an assisted living facility, so they could interact with the elderly. Staff members told us that many of the older people would wake up every day and ask if we would be visiting soon. We always went on Wednesdays. My daughters learned some old show tunes while one of the men played piano, and the others would sing along. If I didn't have to chase my 2-yr. old around, I would have had plenty of women ready to share the art of crocheting with me (something I've always wanted to learn.) If a friend was too sick to come out of their room during our visit, we would often spend a few minutes in their room. I always let them give the kids whatever cookies they had baked for them, and I ended up cleaning a few of the apartments while we visited, simply because I would have done the same for my own Grandmother. Every room had pictures from my kids posted on their refrigerators. We called this "Visiting the Grandmas and Grandpas" and my daughters both (almost 2 years later) have fond memories of our visits. I'm sure that if we were still visiting there, my unborn child would have a thousand handmade blankets and booties to keep him warm all winter.

I don't remember any such experiences in my entire School life, although I do remember being a bit afraid of old people if they were too wrinkly or weak looking. I never really knew anyone over 60. I never sped down the hall on someone's wheelchair lap, squealing as we popped wheelies and screeched around corners. I never got to hear stories about what life was like before indoor plumbing and electricity, from the point of view of a woman with Alzheimer’s, who might believe she was still 5 years old, talking with my daughter as if she were a friend. I never got to help a 90 yr. old woman keep her arm steady while she painted a picture. And I never watched a room full of "grandma's" waiting for me by the window, because we were 15 minutes late.

On a recent visit to an Art Gallery, we noticed a man walking back and forth, carrying framed artwork from his old pickup truck. I asked my 6 yr. old if she thought he might be the artist. We both agreed that was a possibility, and after a little pep-talk to overcome her stage fright, she approached him and asked. He was the artist, and he was bringing in his work to be evaluated by the curator. We all sat down and he explained some of his techniques and listened to her opinions about which piece she liked best. He told about how he enjoyed art when he was 6 and would "sell" pictures to family and friends. He recounted how he felt while creating a few of the pieces, and how each one has special meaning to him. He even let her know how nervous he was to show them to the curator and how he hoped she found them as interesting as we did. As he was called into the office, a group of thirty-four 3rd graders filed past, ever so quietly, while their teacher explained each piece on the walls. The children were so quiet and well behaved. They didn't seem to mind moving on from one picture to the next (The problem with homeschoolers is they tend to linger on things they enjoy). They didn't seem to have any questions or comments (Maybe they'll discuss that later in class). And they never got a chance to meet the gentleman in the pickup truck.

I hope my kids aren't missing out on any "socialization."

Lisa Russell; A Gen X homeschooling mom, writer, wife, daydreamer, U.S. traveler, hiker, poet, artist, web designer, and whatever else suits the moment. Lisa Russell can be contacted at: http://www.lisarussell.net or: lisa@lisarussell.net

Many Oak Meadow families ask for our opinion about socialization. There is a myth that persists about this subject, so we want to look at it more closely.

This "lack of socialization" myth arises from false concepts about the nature of socialization itself and the realities of the homeschooling environment. As John Holt, one of the early advocates of home schooling, once remarked, "If I could give just one reason why children should NOT go to public schools, it would be the socialization they receive there. In general, the kind of behavior one finds most often in schools is petty, cruel, and mean-spirited." Those who feel that homeschooled children are missing a valuable experience by not participating in the socialization that occurs in a public school environment have to consider Holt's words and ask, "Is this really what we want for our children?"

Many school officials and child psychologists have the impression that homeschooled children are home alone all day without any interaction. On the contrary, homeschooled children have ample opportunities for meaningful socialization with their peers through local clubs and classes, community activities, church involvement and personal relationships with friends. Many cities and towns also have homeschooling support groups that meet regularly to provide additional opportunities.

Also, research indicates that homeschooled children are not being deprived socially. In a nationwide study, Dr. Wesley Taylor of Andrews University found that homeschooled children scored significantly higher than their conventionally-schooled peers on a measure of self-concept, which is generally considered to reflect socialization. Dr. Taylor concluded that the socialization issue "favors homeschoolers over the conventionally-schooled population."

In another study, Dr. Delahooke from the California School of Professional Psychology, using a standard personality measure, compared two groups of children: a home school group and a matched private school group. Dr. Delahooke determined that "the private school subjects appeared to be more influenced by or concerned with peers than the home-educated group."

The results of these studies suggest that home schooling improves a child's self-concept and helps children develop the ability to withstand peer pressure. Both of these outcomes are indications of positive socialization experiences.

Such empirical research gives us useful information, but it can also cloud the reality of socialization itself. Socialization is simply our ability to function successfully within a group, and the most basic group is the family. Our children learn their first patterns of interaction with others by imitating their parents. Then, when they go into the larger group, they carry these patterns with them. This is true even if the children go to public school. We know that all of the children in public school are not polite, courteous, and well behaved, despite the attempts of the school to teach them to be so. If, however, the parents are polite and considerate of each other, the children will tend to be polite and considerate, even in the face of the opposite behavior by their peers. If the parents are rude towards each other, the children also learn to be rude and inconsiderate, no matter what they are told by teachers. The larger group interactions are but a reflection of all the patterns of the children who comprise that group.

The most basic unit of socialization is the family. As long as children are interacting with the other family members in their own family unit, they are being socialized. It is important, therefore, for each member of the family to appreciate how he or she influences the socialization of the other members of the family.

We carry an attitude with us in whatever we do. When we wash dishes, we can be in a hurry to get them done, or we may actually enjoy the process and do them slowly and methodically. When we make a bed, we can pull the sheet and blanket up tight and smooth out the wrinkles, or we can pull the spread over the whole mess to hide what is underneath. When we cook dinner, we can enjoy the process and chop vegetables and cook grains, or we can use packaged food to get finished with the process as soon as possible. All of our actions convey an attitude to our children, and our children are learning from us every minute of the day.

Socialization begins at home, and--as conscientious parents--we can insure that our children are positively socialized by becoming aware of our own attitudes and behaviors. When we see our children acting in a manner that we consider socially unacceptable, we have to reflect for a moment and ask ourselves if our children are simply copying our own behavior. Are we supportive in our relationships with others, or do we tend to create strife and conflict wherever we go? Are we able to work cooperatively with a group, or do we demand that everyone in the group do it our way? Do we give our full attention to what we do with others and try to do it to the best of our abilities, or do we just do the bare minimum necessary to get it done? Our answers to these questions--and others like them--indicate the kind of socialization our children are experiencing within their family group.

It is especially important to realize that our attitudes are contagious, and the very attitudes that annoy us the most in our children are the very ones which we ourselves hold. We don't like to see ourselves as we really are walking around in front of us! We must remember, though, that our children take on our attitudes and behaviors simply because they want to be just like us. Why? Because they love us. So when we are tempted to be angry with our children because of behavior we feel they have picked up from socializing with other children, we have to remember that they may quite likely have copied those behaviors from us, simply because they love us. If we want our children to change, we must change first. This is the best possible socialization that we can offer our children. Then, when they have a strong foundation, we can safely send them into larger groups, where they can become a strong influence on the group, rather than the group becoming a strong influence on them.

Homeschooling offers us the very best possible choice for positive socialization of our children, if we are willing to become aware, conscientious parents and bring forth the courage to transform ourselves.

One of the silliest and most annoying comments made to homeschooling parents is, "Aren't you concerned about how your child will be able to socialize with others?". What is being implied here is that the homeschooled child is some kind of introverted misfit who cannot relate to other people, children, and the outside world. In reality, most of the homeschooled children that I have known and met are not only outgoing, but polite and respectful, too. This is a sharp contrast to the public school children that I have known, who can't relate to adults and whose behavior is rude and inconsiderate. Realistically, there are some exceptions on both sides.

Isn't it interesting that amid all of the public school shootings over the past few years, the only comment that opponents of homeschooling can come up with is the red herring of "socialization"? You may have noticed, there haven't been shootings at private schools, or shootings inside of the homes of homeschooled children.

Opponents of homeschooling can't complain about average test scores, since homeschooled children consistently outscore public school children, so they instead make a problem that doesn't exist.

Who is responsible for creating this "socialization" problem? This myth has been perpetrated by sociologists, psychologists, public school administrators, the NEA (and local teacher's unions), etc., whenever they comment on homeschooling to the news media. These are the same people who give Ritalin (a very strong narcotic) and other drugs to schoolchildren, in place of discipline.

A family member asked my wife, "Aren't you concerned about his (our son's) socialization with other kids?". My wife gave this response: "Go to your local middle school, junior high, or high school, walk down the hallways, and tell me which behavior you see that you think our son should emulate." Good answer.

In order for children to become assimilated into society properly, it is important to have a variety of experiences and be exposed to differing opinions and views. This enables them to think for themselves and form their own opinions. This is exactly what public education does not want; public education is for the lowest common denominator and influencing all of the students to share the same views ("group-think") and thought-control through various means, including peer-pressure.

Homeschooling allows parents the freedom to associate with other interested parties, visit local businesses, museums, libraries, etc. as part of school, and to interact with people of all ages in the community. For example, my son goes on field trips with other homeschooling families in our community. He recently was able to visit an audiologist, a McDonald's restaurant (to see how they run their operation), and several other similar activities. He gets to meet and talk to people of different ages doing interesting (and sometimes not so interesting) occupations. He spends a lot of his free time with kids older and younger than himself, and adults from twenty to over ninety years old.

Meanwhile, in public school, children are segregated by age, and have very little interaction with other adults, except their teacher(s). This environment only promotes alienation from different age groups, especially adults. This is beginning to look like the real socialization problem.

My wife and I like to bring our son with us when we are visiting with friends and other adults. How else will he learn to be an adult, if he never has contact with adults? He knows what kind of behavior we expect from him, and the consequences of his actions. He is often complimented on his good manners by friends and adults.

In conclusion, homeschooling parents choose to homeschool for a variety of reasons, but I have never heard any homeschooling parent say that the reason they want to homeschool is to isolate their child from all of society. But, it probably wouldn't be a bad idea for homeschooled children to stay away from public school administrators, the NEA members, sociologists, and others who cannot properly "socialize" with children.

Go to your local public school, walk down the hallways and see what behaviors you would want your child to emulate.

December 16, 1999
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A study of factors contributing to the development of people of high achievement was undertaken by H.G.McCurdey at the University of North Carolina, USA. It was reported in George Leonard's book Education and Ecstasy. Such people often come to be known as genius. Three factors were identified. One was a high degree of individual attention given by parents and other adults and expressed in educational activities and accompanied by abundant affection. A second factor was an environment rich in, and supportive of, imagination and fantasy. The third was only limited contact with other children but plenty of contact with supportive adults.

McCurdey concluded that in mass compulsory schooling, based on formal methods and rigid organisation, we have a long-running experiment in reducing all the above three factors to the minimum. The result is the suppression of high achievement.

Bertrand Russell started his own school at Beacon Hill when he decided that none of the available schools were the kind of places fit for his children, or anybody else's for that matter. He himself had been home-educated. In retrospect, however, he declared that his Beacon Hill school was not as successful as he had hoped. One reason he gave was that he seriously over-estimated the amount of time children need in the company of each other.

15.000 hours is a long time to be forced to spend in the company of a selected number of your peers, yet adults persist in declaring that it must be worthwhile socialisation. It may be socialisation, but the quality of it is highly suspect. Here are some recent newspaper items that touch on the theme.

Report one: Children now expect bullying to be a regular feature of school life. A national survey commissioned by Family Circle magazine showed that eight out of 10 have suffered at least one sustained attack. On average, the first bullying experience can now be expected at the age of eight.

Report two: A report commissioned by the Suzy Lamplugh Trust showed that weapons on now carried by one in ten school students. We can be relieved that UK is still behind in the international league tables, however, since in the USA, knives and guns are carried by far more students than this. But the trend is upwards and complacency is not justified.

Report three: Primary schools are to be issued drug guidelines by the Head Teachers Association. Solvent-sniffing is now found to be common amongst children as young as 7. The HTA claimed that schools were choosing to sweep the problem under the carpet by not informing the police, in order to protect the reputation of the school. The peer group in primary schools is now a key source of information about the drugs scene for children in school. Later, as the youngsters grow older, it will supply information about such things as smoking, alcohol, ecstasy tablets, junk food, and expensive teenage fashion.

Report four: The Secretary of State for Education has launched a crackdown on truancy. He sees it has a 'disengagement from education'. The crackdown was proposed as a measure to combat social exclusion. "Exclusion from what?" you might be tempted to ask. "Weapons, or drugs, or bullying?"

One of the great supporters of school as socialisation was the USA educationalist John Dewey, but he wanted schools to be democratic in style, with high levels of participation and power-sharing, not the totalitarian style based on domination and imposition. The domination model of most of our schools was not part of his plan. He saw the best kind of school as a larger-scale version of the learning approach of the best of the pioneer families of USA.

Yet there is still surprise when a family decides to opt out into home-based education! "What about the social life?" they cry. A reply based on the evidence rather than superstition is, "Exactly! It is well worth avoiding!" Another reply might be that we are a nation of slow learners who cannot work out the significance of report, after report, after report, on the negative socialisation of schooling.

Home-schooling families actually create a much higher quality of social life in their practice of family-centred education, in three ways. First of all they use the home as a springboard into the community using libraries, museums, places of interest in both town and country. In the process they rub shoulders with people of all ages. Whilst this is going on, their schooled counterparts are confined to classrooms with a limited range of peers and a limited range of adults.

Secondly, they locate and join groups such as Scouts, Guides, and Woodcraft Folk, as well as groups or classes in judo, swimming and other sports, or natural history and other pursuits.

Thirdly, they seek out other home-schooling families and do things in co-operation. They may be on an occasional basis, or as in the case of more and more groups, on a weekly basis. London thus has The Otherwise Club meeting two days a week for families to join in if they wish.

But another issue related to the socialisation superstition is discrimination against loners. At parties I have often found myself talking on the side to another person who finds the social attention-seekers getting rather wearing and the endless flow of social trivia getting increasingly boring. I have found that loners often turn out to be more interesting, composed and reflective people and, indeed, some of the most prolific contributors to ideas have been of this disposition. So if your child seems content with their own company - and yours - it is not an automatic cause for concern. Indeed, UK housing policy has just come to terms with the fact that more and more people choose to 'go solo' and this has created a growing demand for single dwellings.

Loners in school can often become the target for bullying because the normal expectation generated by the socialisation superstition, is that you will allow yourself to be taken over by the peer group. This assumes that the artificially created peer group of school is actually worth joining. In the boys grammar school I went to, I judged it was not, and preferred to make my own circle of friends away from the school. Being useful at sports, however, kept me in touch with the peer group without having to be taken over by them. Others were not so lucky.

A head teacher friend provides a final angle on socialisation. He says that the main reason the parents ask for the school to keep its school uniform is because it is protection against the lethal combination of market forces and peer group pressure, which force young people to ask for expensive trainers and other fashion-led items of clothing!

When first researching home-schooling a parent's initial worries revolve around these very issues. So when we are faced with the "Aren't you concerned about socialization?" question, we are well armed. The answers we give are neither easy nor brief.

First, before you answer, try to determine the querant's meaning of "socialization." Here's a few we've all run into with some food for thought (or retaliation).

"Where will they learn...

...to work in groups?"

Group co-operation is taught wonderfully in the home first. Daily chores or errands as well as new tasks can be accomplished with co-operation from all household members. Later this ability can be polished in child focused groups such as scouts, guides, bible group, etc.

...to make and keep friends?"

Friendships aren't only made in schools. Friends are gained through time and effort during meaningful and interesting interactions. This type of socialization (positive) can be gained through after school and weekend events, home-schooling support groups, pen pals, summer camp, etc.

...to stand up for themselves or fight?"

Wouldn't we rather teach our children negotiating skills than fist-fighting? Home schooled children learn safer, more effective ways of dealing with threatening situations. Children who feel the need to learn how to defend themselves physically can enroll in a martial arts program.

...to wait their turn, take orders, follow rules or sit at a desk all day?"

How many years does it take for a child to realize that the world does not revolve around them? Is this something we really need to pound into their young egos for 12 consecutive years? Do our children not learn at home that their needs can't always be met on the spot, that at times parents are bossy and that rules must be followed?

...manners?"

Being around adults setting good examples of manners is far better than being around peers who don't have any. Manners are best taught in the home, with loving guidance, rather than in the schools with shame.

...to accept people of ethnic and diverse cultural backgrounds?"

In the community, when they are with us all day. At least this way we can instill our values into our young charges during the impressionable years. Schooled children are largely affected by their peers' prejudices, peers who carry with them their parent's attitudes about other cultures.

In school children learn to to disregard other cultures, taunting and teasing them because of their differences. Seldom is respect and acceptance for differing cultures learned in the school.

I am beginning to tire of the many articles, essays and responses I keep running across on what has become to be known as the "socialization question."

Homeschooling families, please listen carefully: What people refer to as socialization is a non-issue! It has become a buzz-word among the Official Homeschool Nay Sayers Society. When someone asks you the question ("What about SOCIALIZATION!?"), I suggest you begin by asking them, "What do you mean by socialization?" They will more than likely proceed with some variation on the following theme: "You know, having your kids spend time with other kids their age. Hanging out with their friends, stuff like that." At that point do not, under any circumstances respond with, "Oh my little Susie gets plenty of socialization! She's in 4-H and Awanas, and Sunday school and HomeSchool band and she volunteers at the nursing home etc.etc. etc. In fact she has so many opportunities for socialization that I hardly have time to teach her some days..YaDa YaDa YaDa." Why not? Because this is not what socialization really is!

Here is a more appropriate response: "Oh, I think the word you are looking for is socializing. Socialization is actually defined as the process by which the norms and standards of our society are passed from one generation to the next. I've never really thought that a complete strangers six-year old child would be a good source of information on the correct standards of behavior in our family and in society as a whole. As for socializing, I remember from my school days that it was something you weren't supposed to be doing during class!"

Dispelling The Myths About Homeschooling

By Christine Webb

MYTH: Homeschooled children are lacking in opportunities for social interaction.

Reality: In the homeschool community this question is usually met with looks of disbelief and a quiet chuckle. There are literally hundreds of opportunities in most states for homeschooled children to get together for activities. Roller skating, theater groups, study groups, archery lessons, swimming, park days, recitals, ski outings --- the list goes on and on. And, although all families do not enjoy access to this wide variety, most do have the opportunity to play sports, to join community groups like scouts or 4-H and to participate in religious communities.

Children have the opportunity to develop friendships with children of widely varying ages. They learn social skills from their families, and, in a supportive community, from those who are more experienced at getting along in the world.

MYTH: Homeschooled children lack "real world" experience.

Reality: Our children are quick to point out that they live very much in the "real world." Life is not "on hold" during the day for homeschooling families. These children learn at an early age how to succeed in the world at large because they participate in it with their families. They, for instance, shop, bank, and visit nursing homes. Older children volunteer in the community, hold part-time jobs, take classes, and participate in mentoring projects with adults.

This life experience adds up to well-rounded and capable young people who can successfully make the transition to living on their own or to moving on to college.

MYTH: Homeschoolers all homeschool in the same way.

Reality: Just as in public and private schools, you will find a wide array of education philosophies in the homeschooling community. The real strength of homeschooling is that each family can choose and implement that which works best for its children and its situation. They are not limited to a "one-size-fits-all" curriculum, time frame, or education philosophy. Children can be given the gift of time to learn at a pace that meets individual needs and the resources to learn through their strengths.

The low child/parent ratio allows these children large amounts of individual attention, contributing to the homeschooling community's extremely high literacy rate.

MYTH: Parents are not qualified to teach difficult subjects.

Reality: Although many students successfully opt to self-teach or to learn together with an interested parent, the options for children extend well beyond the family. Some families choose to get together to form study groups around a particular subject and to hire a tutor. Some students opt for community college classes. Others barter help with one subject for help in another. Classes over the Internet or the television are increasingly available options for many families, as are videos and computer software.

Learning options are excellent and varied so there is something to meet the needs of every family.

MYTH: All homeschoolers belong to a single religious and political group.

Reality: People who believe this myth generally think that homeschoolers are "Christians with a conservative political agenda." In fact, homeschoolers come from all walks of religious and political life. For some, homeschooling is all about faith -- they feel compelled to do this from deeply held religious beliefs. For those homeschoolers, (a wide variety of Christian denominations, Jews, Bahais, Muslims, Buddhists, and a host of other religious preferences), homeschooling is an opportunity to more fully immerse their children in the spiritual life of their family and their religious community. But for many, religion is not a deciding factor in why they homeschool. It may be a matter of simply continuing a lifestyle

that is family-centered. On the other hand, many seek out homeschooling after a negative experience with a public or private school. Increasingly, families are choosing homeschooling because they believe it is an excellent education option for their children.

The reasons for homeschooling are as varied as the families. For thousands of families, homeschooling is a lifestyle choice, an education choice or a health choice.

MYTH: Parents homeschool in order to cover up neglect.

Reality: A parent who keeps a child home in order to abuse or neglect that child is not homeschooling and no homeschooling law could protect that child or apprehend an abusive parent. Parents who homeschool spend incredible amounts of time with their children. People who do not want their children around do not homeschool -- they send their children to school. It is easier and cheaper.

Education laws are not effective deterrents to abuse and should not be crafted for that purpose.

MYTH: Homeschoolers do not support the public schools.

Reality: This is such a sad thought and so thoroughly untrue. Homeschooling parents, remember, are primarily the result of public school education. Most are college-educated. Their childrens' playmates most likely attend public school. Although a decision to homeschool is certainly a decision to keep the child out of the public/private school system, it is not necessarily a decision to withdraw support from the public school system. Homeschool parents own homes and pay taxes that provide financial support for the schools. Some even volunteer in the schools or provide daycare for school-age children.

A choice to homeschool is not a vote against public or private schools.

MYTH: Homeschoolers without a GED or diploma have difficulty entering college.

Reality: Hundreds of colleges across the country are enrolling homeschoolers without either a GED or a diploma: state colleges, Ivy League colleges, private colleges and community colleges. Colleges are interested in capable, motivated learners and responsible people. They find both in homeschooled students.